just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
