i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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