Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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