I wannas sexs uuuuu
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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