so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
