Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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