I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
