Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
