If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
