Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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