Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The power of my boobs compel you
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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