Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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