I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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