I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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