so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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