On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
