Dual....:-)
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
of course. lets lasso hookers.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
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