I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
