You just made me feel so damn special
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
