Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
