Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
