He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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