Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
