I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
