Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
