Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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