You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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