I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
