its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
