dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
