Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
