I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
