you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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