He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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