With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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