How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
