I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
