well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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