so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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