just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
