maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
