My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
