he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
