somebody snuck up and got me drunk
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
