You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
