Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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