absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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