I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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