I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
