Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
