We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
