It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
