and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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