Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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