I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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